Message 4#

“The greatest gifts that anyone can ever get for my birthday would be the eternal promise that You, the loving Father, will always be there for me no matter what, and celebrating my birthday with Your presence in the warmth of love and fellowship…’ – Seymour Nightweaver

Father,

Firstly, how I wished to thank You with all my heart for the friends that you have placed me among today… Those who sent SMSes to me, wishing me a wonderful “Happy Birthday”, those who held parties for me and brought cakes for me to celebrate together, and also those who despite that they were not informed of this event (or were late), but still wishes me and treated me with warmth and friendship… How hard it is to hold back my tears thinking of all that they’ve done throughout this week… not just for them, but even the lecturers (Miss Viji), my church friends (Aunty Jane) and many many more… Thank You, Father, and knowing that Your presence are with us all as we are celebrating, there can be no better birthday than this. I’m really touched…

Father, as I think back on all that have happened in the past, I also realized how much I have changed in Your hands. I know, I’ve been telling this over and over now, but Father, only You know how much I really felt about it today… How I realized that You have been with me all this while, with all the patience and kindness as You help me with releasing me from me struggles… And how You have endlessly touched me in my heart over and over from time to time with Your gentle hands in healing me and consoling me when I was in pain… How can I say anything else that can describe Your goodness thinking back all the moments when You open Your doors to me to provide me comfort, empathy and an understanding pair of ears to pour my heart out every time I am but in my lowest conditions of despair. What can I say to praise You with words so deserving of Your kindness and grace? And above all this, You set me free. You set me free Father, from my past bondage, my past sorrows and pain as I live my life today for a future You have set for me long before I knew of it. You first gave me a peace of mind as You provide a shelter for me from my every time I seek Your presence, but as I grew stronger, You guided me to break apart from the chains that bind me to my past – my shadows… You gave me the strength and wisdom to face my scars and the pain that I have gone through in the past, and to soar above it all, free and in joy. Oh, how I sang Your praises with all my heart and soul knowing that You are here to set me free, and how sweet the voice and melody are as I sang it out from my once inner shell of captivity, slowly cracking and disintegrating into nothingness. I could still remember that very night of my birthday when it is just two of us, walking along the busy road back to the hostel after a wonderful curry mee and pasar malam outing with Su Yean jie jie, feeling the joy of freedom as I sang my heart out to You…

Father, I can never know how You can work Your miracles on all of us in this world… One minute I was telling Su Yean jie jie how hard it is to be free from my past… and one minute later I found myself singing my praises to You, feeling free from captivity… How You knew and planned to get me prepared to break free from my shadows, and to let it happen on my birthday… Su Yean jie jie is right after all. I just need to “do” it and let go. No extra efforts. I just to trust and have faith in You, and let go. And to know and realize that the Sunday sermon on the following day is about the renewing of the mind and letting go of the past… Father, how I can thank You for Your indescribable work of miracles! How I felt the feeling of abundant love You had for me, knowing that You have prepared all this for me… All for my nineteenth birthday!!! Lord, how I wished I can say how much I love You to the face of the world! How I wished to shout to You in joy, for having such a wonderful Father in my life, for having something so indescribable like a living God!!! Father, You know how much I needed friends and company whom I can count on - that’s why you placed my here, with my fellow brothers and sisters of PKA, and many others with you have placed me with in my life right now, who are always constantly praying, supporting, and being with me both physically and spiritually (which is obviously way far more than what I asked for in the beginning), friends whom I have never expected nor ever imagined to have…

How happy am I right now I weep unto Your bosom like a child longing for his Father… How happy is it to cry like a baby before You like a baby right now, touched after knowing all You have done for me, after knowing to what extent is Your love to me, and after realizing how much You are willing to do for me… To save me, to nurture me, and to care and love me as Your own son… And not to count in the forgiveness and patience You gave as You watched me struggling with my filth and sins with defeat every time… And how You still remain faithful to me even after countless disobedience and rebellion… Despite the fact that I am contaminated with the venoms that flowed in my veins, whether it is the creeping lusty desires or the seeping acidic feeling of hatred and anger, You are still willing to save me and accept me for who I am, and slowly healing me from my mortal scars and wounds… What can I say? What can I describe? What can I explain? I’m speechless before You right now for there’s no fitting word worthy for Your never ceasing glory. Your love is wider than the widest sea, Your kindness is sweeter than the sweetest honey… You are indeed above all other, as no other is better than You in this realm and nothing is near to even comparable to Your greatness. What else can I say about You, for You are beyond everything that I know in this world, and yet, You sent Your Son, Jesus to lay His life for me, to cleanse and redeem me from the curse of sin. I’m free because of You. I found peace because of You. I found joy because of You. But most importantly, I also found life, all because of Your grace, mercy, and unconditional agape love… Praise You, Father. That’s all I can say.

Father,

Thank You for Your love, grace and mercy, as I am here today celebrating a brand new year of my life in the midst of love and fellowship. Thank You, Father, for the friends that You have placed my among, for all the prayers, blessings, and support they have given me in Your name, and for all the joyous time we shared and cherished together which You have provided for us… Forgive me o’ Lord, for anything that I might have done to them which have hurt their feelings, brought displeasure or offended them, and forgive them also Father, for anything bad or painful that they have done to me. I pray to You o’ Father, may You will continue be with us and touch our hearts as we move on with our coming days in our preparation for our examinations. May Your will be done as we prepare ourselves to reap our semester’s worth of harvest in a week’s time, and may the coming days be a blessing for us, as You remain faithful to us in the throne of our hearts… Thank You again for grace, mercy and love, Father. In Jesus’ most precious and almighty name I pray. Amen.



Seymour Nightweaver (27th October 2008)